Wednesday, 12 February 2014

Adding another side to Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day is typically a rather one sided holiday where men are expected to pursue and woo the lady they love with flower's chocolates, cards, gifts, romantic dates etc. etc. etc.

That of course should not be the only day of the year that a husband gives his wife some special attention, but it is one that we men should make a point of observing.  Brushing it off as a 'Hallmark Holiday' isn't going to leave your wife feeling loved and appreciated.

I tend to look at Valentines Day as a challenge go the extra mile in expressing my affection and commitment to my wife.  I try to come up with something that surprises and delights her, and usually I succeed to at least some degree. There was that one year where things didn't go right at all and all I did was annoy her and it inadvertently led to a small act of arson that caused her some inconvenience, but mishaps aside, I love rising to the occasion.

The one-sided nature of Valentine's Day has prompted the (slightly tongue in cheek) creation of a male version: 'Steak and Blow Job Day'.  Promoters tout it as the day for women to give their man the two things they want.  It is observed every March 14th (one month after Valentine's Day), but don't expect Hallmark to carry any cards for it just yet.  Besides, men don't want cards, right?

Well, no actually, sometimes it is nice.  Whoever came up with the idea for that day was right that most husbands would find dining on a fine steak and some sexual intimacy with his wife a fine night indeed, but the shallow stereotype of that being the only thing a man wants or needs is something I find just a touch insulting too.

For a married couple Valentine's Day should be just as much 'I'm Yours' as it is 'Be Mine'.  And that goes for both spouses.  Affection needs to be a two way street, both sexual and non-sexual affection, and while each person has a dominant 'Love Language', that isn't an excuse to avoid all the others. 

Valentine's is a much better day if it is not so one sided.  Men, make the effort to delight your spouse, even if she says it isn't a big deal to her, make it a big deal.  Ladies, give at least as good as you get.  If your husband has trouble opening up emotionally and acting in romantic ways, perhaps your setting an example will help him learn how and also help him feel safe trying. 

And for my darling wife, remember next month that I like my steak blue.  Rare is a tad overdone.